#2 - The Beginning, How I Ate

If I can describe my eating in one word it would be - "endless". In order for you to understand my eating I have to start at the beginning. Apparently I was a normal weight child until I was about six years old. I can remember starting kindergarten way back when and both of my parents worked to support the family. My mom would drop me off at the local church who provided childcare before school. I would basically eat breakfast at home, go to the church and eat breakfast again and then go to school and eat breakfast again. I started gaining weight and the eating disorder began.

I became an overweight child and the problems with food progressed. If you get queasy, stop reading because I am getting down to the nitty gritty! As I got older I started stealing food from neighbors houses so I could go hide away and eat and eat and eat. I have a younger brother and sister and I started conning them out of the food on their plates. I just couldn't get enough food. When I was ten years old I began sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night to get into the food. If there was food sitting out from dinner, I ate it. It did not matter if it was gross or cold, I just needed it in my stomach. I remember the first time when leftovers were nowhere to be found. I was so hungry and I needed food. I happened by the garbage can and saw food that was thrown away from dinner the night before. I could not help myself, I had to eat. The compulsion was overwhelming. I took the food from the garbage and I ate it. I know what you thinking, "that is sooo gross!" Well, that was the nature of my addiction.

When I was around 12 or 13 I started to steal money from my mom so I could go buy food. One of the most memorable moments of my life was when I went to the store and bought; a loaf of bread, 2 packages of hot dogs, 2 boxes of macaroni and cheese, a gallon of milk, a whole cake, 5 candy bars and 2 half gallons of ice cream. Sounds like a lot of right? It was and I cooked everything up, locked myself in the bathroom and ate every single bit of it.

That is what I did for several years. As I got older, my body image became an issue. I decided to start throwing up after these binges. I threw up on purpose for the first time in junior high. I just knew that it was going to help lose weight. Boy was I wrong! I continued gaining weight and on top of that I started getting bloody noses from the stomach acids eroding my nostrils. The enamel on the back of my teeth was eroding as well and I started having issues with my bowels! No it was not fun. I actually had to have my nose cauterized 4 times!

My parents started noticing a problem when they realized food was disappearing and they were finding wrappers hidden all over the house. My dad even went so far as to install locks on the fridge, freezer and all of the cupboards. I hate to say it, but all that did was teach me how to pick locks!

I am glad to say that I figured out that the whole binge and purge thing was not working. I went on a path of recovery. It was pretty hard to stop the puking thing because I had gotten so good at it that all I had to do was flex my stomach and I would get sick. But get over it I did. I did not get over eating though. I just kept getting fatter with every bite.

I hit the 300 pound mark in high school. I became an adult and all I could do was think of food. I binged til I was so full and then I would sleep, wake up, eat, sleep, wake up, eat. It was a never ending cycle.

When i hit my thirties my typical eating was insane. Fast food and loads of sugar. I would stop somewhere and pick up 4 burgers, 2 fries and soda. Then I would stop at the store and grab a double layer cake, a gallon of ice cream and bags of chips for snacks. When I got home I would get comfortable, set up all the food and eat it all. I could polish off a cake in one sitting.

And that is how I came to be 35 years old and almost 400 pounds and sicker than I could even imagine.

To be continued.....